Who knew it was THIS crazy?
by MeowAngel
Summary: Set before the game, this is a crazy little story about various characters training for the Imperial Army. It gets a little weird... WHAT AM I SAYING? It's REALLY weird! Language, innaproppriate things, and pure craziness!
1. Meet the team!

Meet the team!

Disclaimer: Only things I own here are Anzie, Kylie, Kitti, and Kylene. Nate belongs to my friend Nate.

Anzie: "OK, I am officially bored!"

Kitti: "Well, whining won't do anything about it!"

Kylie:runs in: "Hey! Look!" :shows flyer:

Kylene: "A flyer?" :walks over: "Hmm… 'Join the Alfardian Empire if you want to blow stuff up.' Anz'll like that."

Nate: "Hi! What's up?"

Kylie:shows flyer:

Nate: "Blow stuff up? WOOHOO!"

:1 hour later:

:the group arrives at the enlistment office and registers:

Secretary: "Ok, we're all set here! Go on in."

:they go in:

Anzie: "Wow, look at all the normal people."

Kitti: "Except them" :points at Folon and Ayme:

Kylie: "When do I get to blow up ugly guys?"

Anzie: "Soon, Ky, soon."

Ayme:walks over to the catpeople: "Well now! More trainees? Join the club, kitties."

Anzie: "Huh?"

Folon: "We just joined too. I hope that Ayme doesn't do THAT again…"

Ayme: "What? The p-"

Folon: "YES that! Please don't sing that here…"

:door opens, ugly guy dressed in black walks out:

Kylie: "AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Ayme: "What… the… hell…? "

Kitti: "Both her and Anzie have an intense fear of guys like… that…"

Kylie:huddled in a corner: "it burns me… the six pack burns meeeee…"

Anzie: "Oh good lord!"

Ugly Guy: "Hello, you pathetic trainees. I am the supreme commander, Giacomo."

Kylene:sticks up her middle finger at Giacomo:

Everyone except Kylene and Giacomo:clapping:

:loud crashing:

Anzie: "Whoaaaaaaaaa…"

End chapter

Well? How is it? Is it funny? Next chapter will be hilarious!


	2. Ooo, nice one!

"I didn't do it!"

Disclaimer: I only own Anzie, Kitti, Kylie, and Kylene.

:Anzie is asleep:

:alarm clock rings:

Anzie: "uuuugh…" :destroys alarm clock:

Kitti: "WAKE UP! We're gonna learn to use guns! Even though I already know how…"

Anzie: "IT'S 6 A.M.! JUST LET ME SLEEP!"

:everyone goes to training room, and Giacomo is there:

:everyone lines up with their guns:

Giacomo:walking back and forth, explaining how to use the guns:

:gunshot is heard, Giacomo yells and grabs his butt:

Folon:hides smoking gun behind his back: "I didn't do it!"

Everyone except Folon and Giacomo:laughing their butts off:

Nate: "That sounds like something I would say!"

Kylie: "No fair! I wanted to do that!"

:later…:

Kitti:notices sign: "Hmm… 'A mandatory show will be put on later by Emperor Geldoblame. MANDATORY! YOU HAVE TO COME!' I wonder what it is?"

End chapter

Well? Funny, right? Sorry it's short. That last part sets the tone for the next chapter. Warning about the next chapter: It is sick and wrong! But Anzie's comments make it almost bearable! ALMOST!


	3. THE SHOW! dun dun dun

THE SHOW

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 'cept the catgirls!

This is where the sick and wrong stuff starts.

Kitti: "Hey everyone! There's a show later! Wonder what it is…"

Kylie: "Who knows, who cares!"

Kitti: "It's mandatory"

Kylie: "Wha?"

Kylene: "We have to go. No choice."

Anzie: "It's time to go!"

:they go to the auditorium and take their seats:

Kylie:falls asleep:

:stupid music starts, and Geldoblame goes out on stage and starts dancing like the idiot he is:

Anzie: "Oh dear Lord!"

Kitti: "Ick…"

Kylie:wakes up: "OK, now THAT is just wrong!"

Kylene:staring: "Oh my God… He just took off his clothes!"

Nate: "I wish I never saw that…"

Folon: "GOOD LORD, HE'S IN A THONG!" :shields his eyes:

Ayme: "Whoa! Now THAT is weird-ly amusing."

Anzie: "AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGH!"

Kitti: "Ewewewewewew!"

Kylie: "Coohool!"

Kylene: "Um, sis? You have issues…"

Anzie: "AHHHHH! AAAAAH! H-he took off his thong…" :deeply disturbed:

Folon: is still shielding his eyes:

Ayme: "Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Shake it!"

Nate: "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Anzie: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ayme: "I'm gonna hire this guy later!"

:a lot of people are being dragged off by paramedics now. Team Katgirlz and Nate are some of them:

:later:

Anzie: "As long as I live, I never wanna see that again."


	4. Beach Time!

Beach Time!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the catgirls and Lariley.

Anzie: "I NEVER want to see ANYTHING that disturbing again!"

Kitti: "Agreed"

Kylie: "That was the most HORRIFYING thing I have EVER seen!"

Kylene: "I think I've been scarred for life!"

Nate: "No more… No more…"

Folon walks in: "Hey, what's up?"

Anzie: "We've all been scarred for life by that performance…"

Folon: "Yeah… Good thing I didn't see that last part… And did you hear what Ayme was yelling? She's so perverted."

Ayme walks in wearing a bikini: "Did I hear someone talking about me?"

:everyone else is just standing there, speechless:

Ayme: "What? I'm going to the beach!"

Anzie: "Really? Can we come?"

Ayme: "Sure. We all have to go anyway. It's just something they're doing to make up for the show."

Everyone: "YEAAH!"

:at the beach:

Anzie is wearing a one-piece black swimsuit: "So… What?"

Kitti is wearing a white bikini that isn't NEARLY as revealing as Ayme's: "I'm gonna sunbathe."

Ayme is wearing a revealing black bikini (so she can attract guys): "You KNOW what I'm gonna do!" :runs off to flirt:

Kylie iswearing a purple and black one-piece with decorations: "SANDBALL FIIIIIGHT!" :throws sand at Giacomo (she hates him):

Kylene isin a red swimsuit with green ruffles: "I'm gonna get ice cream."

:nearby, Kylie and Giacomo are sissyfighting:

Folon: "OH GAWD, THAT IS JUST SICK!" :points at Geldoblame:

Anzie:screams:

Ayme: "Whoaa! Cooooool."

Folon: "What's cool about that?"

:Kylie and Giacomo stop sissyfighting and look:

Kylie: "AAAAUGH! I WAS HOPING I WOULDN'T SEE A THONG SPEEDO HERE! THIS IS WHY I HATE THE BEACH!"

Kitti: "I'M BLIIIIIND!"

Kylene: "Oh, GROSS!" :shields her eyes and accidentally drops her ice cream:

Giacomo: "That's sick…"

Nate: "We all agree…"

Lariley (my latest OC): "Yeah, and the worst part is- ACK! GELDOBLAME, THIS ISN'T A NUDE BEACH!"

Anzie:hyperventilates in horror and passes out:

Kitti shields her eyes:

Kylie: "I WAS gonna pretend I didn't see that, but now…"

Kylene:throws up:

Folon: "AAAAAAUGH!" :runs and hides:

Nate falls on the ground and starts twitching:

Random beachgoersscream, run in circles, and/or fall to ground and twitch:

:later:

Anzie: "That was far worse than the show! WAY WORSE!"

Lariley walks in: "Sorry about what happened today. He's… stupid. Very stupid. So stupid, in fact, he makes worms look like geniuses!"

Anzie: "Yeahhhh… All the others are in the infirmary except Ayme, and she's weirder than I am! And I mean that in a bad way!"

Lariley: "Agreed, she is a bit… strange. And annoying!"

:I'm running out of ideas, so END CHAPTER, and yes, thisWAS supposed to be sick and wrong, yet strangely funny:


	5. The Octopi Song

The Octopus Song

Disclaimer: I'm tired of doing this... You've probably read the disclaimer plenty of times by now!

Final Fantasy 6 reference alert. MJ joke alert. This is gonna be good.

Anzie: "I'm bored."

Kitti: "I'm bored."

Kylene: "I'm bored."

Kylie: "Ultros just whooped me again."

Nate: "So?"

Ayme: "Wanna watch a video?"

Anzie: "Sure, why not?"

Ayme putsthevideo in theVCR:

:THE SHOW is what's on the video:

Everyone except Ayme runs out of the room screaming:

Anzie: "That was close!"

Lariley: "What was?"

Kitti: "Ayme has a tape of 'THE SHOW'."

Lariley: "What's that?"

Anzie: "Go in and find out." :smirk:

Lariley goes in: "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"

Anzie: "Two days ago."

Kitti: "I'm still bored!"

Kylie: "Can I sing?"

Anzie: "Sure."

Kylie starts singing: I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate octopi, 'specially the purple ones!"

Anzie starts singing: I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate octopi, 'specially the ones that kick your ass!"

Kitti starts singing: "I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate octopi, 'specially the red ones!"

Lariley starts singing: "I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate octopi…":stops singing: "Wait… I don't hate octopi! Hey, Anzie, can I sing "I hate Geldoblame" instead?"

Anzie: "YEAH! I wanna sing that too! I hate that he-she, too!"

Ayme: "He-she? Where? Who are you talking about? 'Mr. Showman', or Giacomo? I think Giacomo is gay."

Folon: "He is. Trust me on this one…" :shudders:

Ayme: "Ohh, so he's like MJ?"

Folon: "…yeah…"

Anzie: "Scary."

:a flash of skin-color goes by:

Lariley: "Oops! Gotta go! Geldoblame is streaking again… Stupid nudist…"

Nate: "Did you just say… nudist?"

Lariley yells back (she's running after that retarded nudist): "Yeah!"

Folon: "I wish I never saw that…"

Anzie: "Remember what happened last night? The thing with Joe..? Where he… Well, you know…"

Folon: "UGH! DON'T REMIND ME! THAT WAS SICK! And I was begging you to pry him off of me!"

Anzie: "You were?"

Folon: "YES!"

Ayme: "What happened? TELL ME!"

Folon: "NEVER!" :runs off, and Ayme runs after him:

(I'm out of ideas, so here's a song instead: I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate octopi, I hate those f-in' octopi! I just got mybehind whup'd, by a he-she octopiiiiiii…One-hit KO moves, get me every tiiiiime… I can't believe, I lost to such a faaaaag! He's such a fag, he tried to rape a buuuuuuuug, yeah. He shakes 'is butt, to the Boom-boom song… Oh eww… Ew now! Ew ewewew ew ewew ew. Ewewewew, ew ew eww! What an ass, he's so gay! I wanna whup his ass now(Lariley starts beating Geldoblame with an aluminum bat) Go Lariley! Mwahaha!) (yes he did kick my sorry ass)


	6. Pool Party Chaos!

Pool Party Chaos!

Anzie: "I'm bored."

Kitti: "There's a pool party today. Let's go."

:they all go to the swimming pool:

Lariley is looking around, panicking: "Oh man, this is bad…"

A female soldier screams:

Lariley looks up at thehigh dive and sees something bad: "Oh no…"

:Geldoblame is on the high dive. He jumps, hits the water, and causes a tidal wave:

Kitti: "WAUGH! WATER! I HATE WATER!"

Anzie: "Woohoo!" :jumps into pool:

Folon is being forced to do the high dive:

Ayme is forcing Folon to do the high dive:

Kylie: "This is boring."

Kylene: "Wanna fish for swim trunks?"

Kylie: "Oh yeah!" :evil smirk:

Folon jumps off high dive to get away from Ayme and her revealing bikini:

Kylene: "Wait for it…"

Folon gets out of the water:

Ayme: "HELLO!"

Anzie: "What she said!"

Kitti starts laughing:

Kylie looks into the pool and sees a pair of dark-blue swim trunks:

Kylene does the 'just did something really evil' smile:

Lariley: "Um, Folon, go back into the pool and retrieve your swim trunks…"

Folon looks down slowly… "W-whoa!"He jumps back into the pool...

Sariah: "Over already?"

Fadroh: "O-kay then…"

Anzie: "Oh look. It's the annoying twins."

Sariah: "WHAT?"

Fadroh: "I'm going swimming. Call me when you're done yelling at each other."

Ayme: "High dive! High dive!"

Fadroh: "Yeah, sure"He goes to the high dive, jumps off the high dive,and gets out of the pool.

Ayme: "HELLO!"

Anzie: "What she said!"

Kitti starts laughing.

Kylie looks into the pool and sees a pair of green swim trunks.

Kylene does the 'just did something really evil' smile:

Lariley: "Um, Fadroh, go get your swim trunks…"

Fadroh looks down slowly... "AAAAUGH!" And he jumps back into the pool.

Lariley: "OH NO, THIS IS BAD!"

Yep, Geldoblame is doing a cannonball off the high dive. And his thong Speedo comes off.

Screams come from anyone with a brain. That means Ayme didn't scream.

Ayme runs over to a boom box and puts that annoying song, 'Boom da Boom', on.

Lariley: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Anzie faints

(Out of ideas. End chapter.)


End file.
